I want to Leave

It’s time for another 5-minute Friday.  Kate Motaung at Heading Home chooses a word and a large community of bloggers  enjoys stopping what we’re doing and just writing,  uninterrupted and unedited.  A brief relaxing time out of our day.  This week Kate’s word is “leave.”

I want to leave home.  Yes,  I do.  I want to go places, visit friends,  get on a plane or a boat and …. well,  I just want to change things.  When I feel confined,  which seems to be more and more lately, I allow myself to feel sorry for me.

The awful thing about being an alzheimer’s wife is that I know it’s not Bo’s fault that he is ill,  and that he would be very upset if he knew that my life is trapped in his care.  So there’s no solution for me except to feel GUILTY.  And SAD.

And to daydream about taking long rides with the dog to visit friends and going cross country and flying to Paris and ……

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This entry was posted in Alzheimers, Five Minute Friday, Travel and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I want to Leave

  1. Debra H. says:

    Oh, I feel your heart. I feel this way too, many days at a time as a wife and mother to four. Sometimes the life we chose in the past seems to confine and limit the life we want now. I’m believing that God knew beforehand what our lives would be like and that He will support me and inspire me to live in the moments He has given me so that I refuse to feel sorry for myself in His strength. In my own strength, I too feel sadness, longing, and guilt that I want something other than what I’ve been given.
    I will be praying for you this week as we both struggle with this longing to be free.
    Thank you for being willing to share your struggle.
    *an FMF neighbor stopping by from
    http://pursuinggrace.com/leave-me-alone/

    Like

  2. revskid says:

    Is there a local program through a church or community center that gives caregivers respite? Or perhaps that would confuse him too much. LIke Debra, I too was confined at home with children and too many days I felt sorry for myself. But I see how things I did in taking care of my kids are being repeated by them, so I still did the right things. I know it’s not the same. Babysitters for small children are much easier to get. My heart goes out to you. You are in my prayers.
    http://bmeandering.blogspot.com

    Like

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